Group

• Let’s be clear about our expectations and ready to discuss:
  • What do I expect from this group? Friendship, success, fun, being with equals?
  • What am I prepared to give? My time, my thoughts, my creativity, my energy?
  • What are my needs? Time-reminder, maybe help with a handicap, honesty to feel comfortable?
• Can you agree on a common goal and shared values? Yes? That’s great! If not, try to find a compromise everyone can commit to. We need shared values and a common goal to be on the same track and to have an identity as a group. Open communication helps us to grow together and to find an agreement. 
• Very simple, but very important: Be on time for meetings. Have you ever thought about punctuality from a math perspective? If you are ten minutes late and you are in a group of nine people, then you let each of the nine people wait for ten minutes. That means you are stealing 90 minutes from others!!! 
• Be reliable and transparent: When we agree to take over a task or a responsibility, it’s important that the group can rely on us. Of course there can be reasons why it wasn’t possible to complete a task. In this case, transparency is essential. We can tell the others that we haven’t done it and make a constructive proposal. We can ask someone for help or suggest a different deadline. Communication is everything!
• Attitude: Giving each other honest feedback for the way we act and for the way we are together. Creating a safe space without fear of judgment is crucial for our well being, our group climate and our motivation. Maybe I’m annoyed that some of my teammates are always too loud and are getting on my nerves by talking too much. But they are also the ones who tell the best jokes and make us all laugh about things that went wrong. It’s my decision which perspective dominates. Let’s focus on the good sides.

Let’s have a look at the dialogue in the example: Maybe my bad mood is not the other person’s fault. And if the other person doesn’t ask me directly there is no need to comment on their haircut. But it is important to value the other person’s idea even if I don’t like it. It’s also good to share that I’m not in the best mood, and being transparent with my emotions. It really makes a difference if I say: “Stupid idea” (using destructive, violent language) or “I think we should discuss it further, I still have a few questions about it” (constructive and non-violent language). The “I-message” also leaves space for the possibility that I’m the one in the wrong. What about trying to understand your teammate’s idea better and listen actively to the answer to your question: Can you please explain your idea a bit more?

As you can see, in this example the way we communicate is the key to feeling comfortable with each other. And we should never forget: not speaking, e.g. ignoring someone, is also a form of communication, which can hurt even if we don’t use offensive words. 

Okay, so: value the ideas of others, be open about emotions, use non-violent language and I-messages and have an active-listening-culture. What other “spices” can we add to promote good communication?

• Honesty doesn’t mean that I always have to tell others everything that’s on my mind. If we are honest in a kind way we build trust (read more about trust in Soft Skills) and confidence in a group, which helps us to solve problems better as a team. If we have sincere communication about our personal feelings, our mutual understanding will grow and so will our relationship. This will also strengthen the work environment and create a safe space.

• Safe space: Establishing a safe space is important so that everyone in the group feels comfortable to share and exchange ideas freely without fear of judgment. We can disagree contentwise, but we should always respect each others’ opinions and differentiate between content level and personal level: Even if I disagree with you we can still be friends. We can commit to respecting boundaries, listening to each other with an open mind and making sure everyone gets the chance to contribute or speak. And we can always ask for help if we need it. It takes time to build a safe space until everybody knows a little bit about the others and has some conversations with each other to feel more comfortable. 
• Language: Decide as a group which language you feel comfortable in communicating with. If there are different languages in the group it’s better to use the one that everyone knows (e.g. English) in order not to exclude anyone. And even within one language it’s good to agree regarding slang, academic words, gender expressions etc. – all this can also be exclusionary. 

If someone in the group faces a language barrier it’s important to give them time so that no one feels under pressure. During the work process it can be helpful if everyone writes down their own ideas, so that everybody is truly included.

• Digital communication is crucial to maintain the same level of engagement if your team is located in different places. It’s important to agree on how we want to communicate between meetings. How to communicate that I will be late? Does everyone have WhatsApp or is it better to use Signal? Perhaps no more messages in the evenings? Is it okay for everyone to send photos in the group? Is it better to use mail for longer texts? Do you want to have a social media group and if yes, public or not? And be aware: even in digital communication it’s frustrating to be ignored – let’s respond to each other! 

We always follow a peer-to-peer approach which means that we learn from each other through sharing ideas and opinions, no matter the difference in age, competences or backgrounds. We respect each other as equals because we believe that each of us has certain skills to offer. Maybe there’s a person in your group with great knowledge you can all learn from; maybe you are the one who always finds the right words when there is tension in the group; maybe someone else has a big social media network that can be used for your cause. You see, everyone is different and everyone is important. We can always learn from each other. Also, we can always ask for help without the fear of being judged by others. We help and support each other in order to build a solid group.

As Leila from Germany said:

“With a group of students, my professor and an artist created a space for art and a place to exchange information. Different groups of students work together and do galleries and everyone is invited to come. They also have local artists who showed their art. The student groups, with the help of the professor, are responsible for organizing  the galleries, for cleaning the building and creating the art. I like the project, because a lot of people worked together. It’s really creative and it is fun to work together with a group of peers.” 

• I need a group! You don’t have a group, but you want to make a change or to make a difference? First ask your friends, your classmates and the people you know from your hobbies. Explain to them what drives you and ask them to support you. Pitch your project! If you are inspired you will motivate others. If your group is still too small for your planned action, you can spread flyers, hang posters or write on social media and ask for support.
• We need a room! Are your siblings already mad with you because you’re hosting 10 people every week in your shared room? Maybe then it’s time to find a room for your group. You can ask in your school or in the youth center of your district. Or maybe there is a religious building (like a mosque, church, etc.) you can use? If you ask the youth administration in your area they might have suggestions. In our experience, a lot of people will support you if they understand your project.
• Meeting times: You are all very busy and it’s hard to agree on a time to meet? Welcome to the modern world. Luckily, there are online tools you can use for organising like doodle, shared calendars etc. Some people would like to meet on weekends – others in the evenings? Change between different options so that everyone gets what they want from time to time. And if you still can’t agree, think about splitting up: regular meetings of a core team with the ones who have more time capacity and big but less frequent meetings with everyone.
• Size of the group Can you imagine 15 people cooking in a small kitchen? Probably a mess! In Germany there is a saying: “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” So it is important to ensure that the size of your group is appropriate for the actions you are planning. In an awareness campaign, a group with as many members as possible is ideal. On the other hand, a coordination team shouldn’t be too big or you will have chaos. So first ask yourself how many people are ideal for the planned task and then think about who can do what, and if you need more people for this. For the leading parts it might be a good idea to ensure there is a background support or a substitute, since anyone, due to illness, family reasons, time management issues, could drop out. And, like migrant birds on their way south, a group of activists should always be prepared to take each other’s place like the leading birds in front of the formation.
• Divide tasks according to your strengths – don’t be shy to admit that you have special talents ?. A skilled DJ in your group is the one who can influence the atmosphere at your meetings as well as during public actions, if a speaker is available. And we should never be ashamed of our weak points – we all have some. So I won’t offer to design a poster, when I can’t read my own handwriting. Dividing tasks is important both for the group feeling and for individual group members – to feel neither overcharged nor useless – and also for the success of your actions. 
  It might be helpful for a good working process to agree on a moderator for the meetings. This person can change from time to time.
• Breaks: Don’t forget to plan breaks during working times. Even if we are in a good working process we need breaks to recover – and even more so when we are stuck somewhere in the process or had an argument with each other. During breaks we can relax and have in-between-conversations. After a long period of sitting and thinking it’s so good to do something physical. Do some of you know some funny energizers?

If we are motivated, we can also inspire our team. And the other way around: a good team is important for our personal motivation. 

Therefore being motivated and motivating others is part of the way a passionate team works effectively and to the satisfaction of every member. With motivation we overcome boundaries in the thinking process and challenge ourselves to achieve greatness. 

In activism we are always a group of volunteers. No one is forced to do this, we are all here because we want to. What a special energy! But motivation is not only an attitude that drives us on because we have a common goal. We can also lose it on the way if we don’t take care of it:

Motivation doesn’t only have enemies, but also a great friend: FUN! 

Having fun in the group is important to create a relaxed and easy going atmosphere. The group could work in a creative way to make the activities enjoyable. Combining and using hobbies, having some pizza after work or playing table football together during breaks – these can also be reasons why we want to be part of a group.

It’s very frustrating to work in a team and have the feeling that no one is taking their tasks seriously. This is really bad for the project, for your motivation and also for group dynamics. 

How can this be prevented? 

Before taking over a responsibility I check my agenda and ask myself: Can I do it – timewise? How many hours can I dedicate to this task? Do I need help? Only after this check up, I will tell the others if I can do the task and how much of it I can do. 

Commitment to your project could be really diverse. And this is completely okay! Maybe there are people in the group who have a very full timetable or challenging life circumstances so that it’s not possible for them to dedicate a lot of time to the cause. But they are always there when they can make it and support the team in every way that is possible for them. For your activism it doesn’t matter if you have a lot of time to give or not. What really matters is that you take your responsibility seriously and are reliable. The team has to know what they can expect from you. So let’s always be transparent in communicating what we can do and what we can’t. 

And what if your life changes? For example, you took over the responsibility for a social media action this week but you failed in your previous exam and now you have to prepare for your second chance and can’t dedicate your time for activism as promised? In this case too, communication is the key! Tell your group in time and you will find a solution together. 

For a new member to become part of a project, it takes time and active participation to get on the same level as others and have meaningful interactions together. 

Activist groups are open for everyone no matter their backgrounds, competences, ages etc. Inclusive groups with diverse personalities need time for exchange and understanding. Maybe in one culture it’s impolite to look directly in the eyes? Or someone in the group doesn’t like physical contact? Or someone has a psychological condition e.g. can’t use the elevator. Be open about this, respect everyone and don’t judge them. Or are there differently-abled persons in your group?

It is crucial for diversity to clarify the access needs of everyone. Some conditions are invisible and even visible conditions do not indicate what this individual person really needs. You can help everyone feel comfortable by making it a habit to ask for needs. Sometimes it can be helpful to ask anonymously. Give everyone the chance to be part of your group and you will have the richest group!

Furthermore, it’s a good practice to divide responsibilities in the team so that everybody feels involved in the overall process and tasks are divided fairly. We take into consideration that all of us have different commitments, abilities, and capacities. So the best is that we divide the tasks accordingly!

Diversity is an enrichment for our group and provides the group with different contributions, resources, perspectives and abilities. Try to establish policies and procedures that welcome diversity and prohibit discrimination and harassment, also encouraging participants to speak up and report suspected harassment or discrimination.  It often helps to either have the possibility to report discrimination anonymously or to have a specific “awareness person” who is not directly part of the group but can mediate.

We come to all our decisions in a democratic way, so that everyone is involved and is treated fairly. That means:

• Everyone has the right to speak and their opinion should be respected.
• We as a group listen to each other with an open mind – we are prepared to learn from different perspectives and even to change our mind.
• We lead discussions in a respectful way.
• We try to find a compromise.
• We vote, every voice counts the same, the majority decides.
• We accept the decision of the majority – that is not always easy but important.

There are also limitations for democracy in our context. Sometimes it’s important to take care of the wishes of a minority, especially if it’s a vulnerable group. If we want to meet outside in the park and one member is not able to walk too long because of an injury, we should consider a place that is in their reach. Sometimes it’s not the rule of the majority who should lead us but solidarity and inclusion. And even though democratic process usually refers to the majority, there are also decisions that should be made using the “veto” principle, so that we include everybody in the process and the group should respect that differing opinion.

It takes time to build relationships so we need to be patient. We should begin with discussing our expectations, aims and values to create a group identity and establish good communication. This way we can find our common ground and focus on us instead of me as a person. Working on our common goal we will grow together.

It’s important to know that in every group we will have to deal with different group dynamics. Maybe in the beginning we are all very enthusiastic but also a bit uncomfortable if we don’t know each other so well. Some “get to know each other”-games and group building activities could be helpful then.

At some point in our process we will face challenges. There might be conflicts because we are different and have diverse personalities. We as a group might feel frustrated when things don’t work out the way we want to. Additionally, we will be confronted with motivation killers like the feeling of injustice, the feeling that some people are more engaged than others, or maybe jealousy because we think that someone is taking up more space. Or we might have personal issues like feeling insecure or not competent enough. We can only assure you: All this is quite normal and part of the process. If you recognise these feelings, don’t push them away. Look at them as a friend and then try to deal with them – alone or by talking about it with your group. Group dynamics are like waves. Sometimes you have a common flow, sometimes tension. One time you agree and another time you struggle with each other. But through all this you will grow and learn – personally and as a group. Trust the process! (Here you can find out more.)